Stream of Conciousness

Why am I afraid? Who am I scared of? I learnt the word innocuous today..it means I don’t remember.This is not a journal,im just writing whatever comes to my mind. Roomates have gone to their friends house.

Is it only me or anyone else? The more I read…the more foolish I perceive myself to be. But sometimes people are just so stupid and hence I second to Einstein’s saying human stupidity is “Infinite.” I read Marydeth’s (Mr.Garcia’s wife) journal today about “marriage.” I really like her writing. I wish I could write that well. I’m scared of something…the future…what does it have for me? What do I have for my future?What and how can I contribute to the future? Do I necessarily have to contribute? What makes me so unique and why does this world need me? These are some questions I need to figure out.

Why do relationships exist when we all know that it doesn’t last forever? Why take a chance? Why not live a single life? I’m much happier and content this way other than having to worry about another person. I feel much more independent. There is no one of this world that can have control over what I do except the Almighty, who is not of this world but of the world beyond human imagination.

That leads me to another question. What is this thing called “imagination” is it limited? Does it vary from person to person or does every individual use it differently, and do we all have the same capability?

Am I not bizaare? Who am i? Isnt life so overrated? What is my purpose?

Life in itself is nothing but a matchstick. We are nothing but a matchstick. Some shine in the dark, some are used to light cigarettes, some are used to pass on to a bonfire, or a bigger flame. Some are kept in a box, some are smaller, and or bigger. In the end, they all end. Everything ends. So why start in the first place?

Why am I studying? To become what society wants me to become? To become what I think my parents will be happy about? To become who im not? Firstly, I don’t know who I am…so no point asking that “who im not” part.

I want to buy a leather diary. I have to buy one. Why? because I want one and it looks good. J

Goodnight!